Three lessons learnt after three years of marriage

The hubby and I are celebrating our three year wedding anniversary and I wanted to share some pearls of wisdom.

For our last anniversary I shared the two lessons learnt after two years of marriage so thought I’d keep up the tradition this year.

To celebrate our anniversary last year we headed for a spa break at Slaley Hall which you can read all about here.

We followed this up with a later visit back to Slaley for a delicious Afternoon Tea which you can catch up with here. 

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This year has been quite different to last year for us as a couple. I feel like we’re much more settled in our house now and we’re actually making it into a home.

After initially being unsettled career wise I feel like I’m on track in a job that I really enjoy and will miss while I am on maternity leave.

Now we’re preparing to be parents for the first time which has brought a fresh set of challenges!

What three things have we learnt after three years of marriage?

1. Balance your different personalities

One of us is more of extrovert than the other (any guesses which way round?!) and one is a saver and the other a spender, among many other differences.

Steve likes to take time to weigh up all of the options before making a decision whereas I’m much more strong willed and jump in feet first.

We have had to learn to balance our lives with these opposites and I think we actually balance each other out.

2. Romance is not dead

Back in February I wrote a post asking if the romance is dead once you’re married and I got such a response both on and offline.

I think the general consensus is that romance actually isn’t dead it’s just different once you’re married.

It’s not about grand sweeping gestures but those little things that make a difference.

Both of us love being told that we are the only one for each other. This can be done with little notes, text messages, phone calls, flowers, long hugs, passionate kisses, and many other ways.

Just little things can make such a difference in letting your partner know they are special and we both do things for the other which I think are romantic.

3. It’s okay to go to bed mad

There is no more beloved marriage advice than “Don’t go to bed mad.” But I am a big believer that it’s ok to go to bed after a tiff.

Most of our arguments are insignificant, and we’ve forgotten about them after a good night’s sleep.

If not, it’s game on.

I’m terrible at holding a grudge and something I know I need to work on.

However, there are times when nothing good is going to be said after arguing for what seems likes hours.

In these instances, we have gone to bed angry and upset at each other with the understanding that in the morning, once we have cooled off, we’ll talk or maybe later the next night!

This has saved us from hours of frustration and allowed us to calm down and look at the argument from a different perspective after a night of sleep.

Sometimes you just need a little bit of time and perspective.

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No marriage is perfect and I wouldn’t ever claim that ours is but I know for sure I would be absolutely lost without him.

There’s times I think I am so in love with Steve and other times I could scream until I’m blue in the face with frustration – but in life there will always be a good and a bad day and I’m really lucky that we have so many more great days than bad ones.

This fourth year of marriage will be a whole new chapter for us both; as we become parents to our little one and we will no doubt face many challenges, sleepless nights and disagreements. Bring it on!

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What pearls of wisdom have you learnt after being with your partner or being married? Let me know in the comments below.

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Our wonderful wedding pictures were taken by the very talented Ed and Maggie Sewell; you can check out their other work here: http://www.sewellphoto.co.uk/

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Other relationship related posts

Take a look back on my saying yes to the dress story

Here’s my top tips on how to survive a couple’s trip to Ikea

See how I’m upping my romance game in romancing the socks off Valentine’s Day

Find out what we got up to during our mini break to the lovely Lake District.

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