An open letter to my daughter on her first birthday

I can’t believe you’ve been here with us for a year already! Where has that time gone?

It feels like only weeks ago we were packing the hospital bag, I was at one with my birthing ball and getting in the zone for my induction and now we’re celebrating your first birthday!

What a year it has been.

Your birthday

Having a date for being induced helped me get in the right mind set as I was so worried I’d go into spontaneous labour and daddy would be at work.

We had a date and we knew you’d make an appearance within a few days which meant that we could plan for visitors too.

The labour wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be, the hypnobirthing techniques I’d adopted thanks to a taster session really helped and of course the wonderful gas and air and I suppose daddy deserves a mention too!

The midwives and doctors were amazing and really helped cheer me on as I was really struggling with the last few pushes and then just like that you were born and placed on my chest.

A purple wriggling bundle.

As the doctor passed you into my arms declaring that you’re a girl, he asked do we have a name. I took one look at your tiny little face and I just knew, Elsie Jane.

I said it out loud for the first time and daddy agreed.

As we had some skin to skin contact I felt that your breathing didn’t sound right and the doctors agreed and you were taken to special baby care.

You got a cute little hat and a beautiful blanket and after a short while they brought you back, no interventions were needed – you were a feisty one straight from the get go.

As you enjoyed some skin to skin cuddles with daddy, the doctors were back but for me this time – gosh we do love a drama don’t we? Thankfully after some stitches my bleeding was brought under control and I was fine.

That first day just went by in a blur and all too soon it was time for daddy to go home and it was just us two (albeit on the labour ward with other mammies and their newborns).

I lay in the hospital bed with you in the clear crib next to me and couldn’t believe this tiny little human was half of me and half of daddy.

We stayed in hospital for longer than we ever thought we would because we were struggling with breastfeeding, we had lots of support from the maternity care assistants and midwives and even daddy!

And eventually on the Monday we were discharged and daddy very carefully drove us home.

We got you out of the car and thought right this is it, it’s just the three of us now!

Luckily daddy had three and a half weeks off and boy did we need that time!

After almost a fortnight of breastfeeding our journey came to an end (I will write about this in more detail) and we moved to formula and you just thrived and you’ve continued to thrive ever since.

Maternity leave and lockdown

Back in March I felt like we were in a great routine on my maternity leave, we enjoyed our baby yoga classes on a Tuesday morning, we had a fabulous time at Hartbeeps on a Thursday and we enjoyed swimming classes with daddy on a Sunday.

And of course we had our regular hot chocolate dates with Auntie Catherine at Metro Centre where you’d enjoy your milk in the baby room in Next and we’d have a gossip, grab a nice treat in Costa and have a wander round the shops.

A simpler time.

We’d also enjoy lunch or tea dates with the girls and seeing family and friends. It feels like a different time, a different world.

Until last Thursday our last trip out together was with Auntie Catherine at Metro Centre, little did we know that just a few days later we’d be in lockdown.

I was worried that my very social little girl might not adapt to this new normal – missing our classes, our family and our friends but you were so resilient.

We did online Hartbeeps at Home sessions and enjoyed Adventure Babies and baby yoga too.

Thank goodness for video calls so family and friends could see us and we could see them.

When I started back at work in May we had to juggle parenting and working and it was hard but you were such a joy even when we were busy you were content playing and entertaining yourself (and my colleagues on video calls!).

Starting nursery

Then your next chapter started when nursery reopened initially just for key workers.

We deliberated about sending you, it wasn’t an easy decision to make.

Daddy and I are key workers and after lengthy conversations and email exchanges with the nursery we felt it was the right thing to do, for your development and for us to be able to work properly.

Your first day, I took you in and was worried there would be floods of tears (me not you) but actually we both took it on our stride.

You had an amazing first week which is testament to your wonderful nature but to the incredible hard work of all of the nursery staff and you’ve just come on leaps and bounds.

What are you like right now?

You are really growing into such a little character. You are so funny, full of joy and cheeky! You are so curious and determined.

I see so much of me and your daddy in you.

You love your books (just like me), you love playing with balls and dancing along to your musical toys.

To think you hated the bath when you were tiny, it’s a firm favourite time now. I think the Water Babies swimming lessons really helped with your love of the water.

You love watching football and any kind of sport really (much to daddy’s delight) and you love entertaining family and friends on our video calls.

I don’t know where you get your energy from – you’re always on the move, exploring your surroundings and getting into everything.

You haven’t mastered the art of crawling quite just yet, you army crawl and you definitely get your way around from A to B. You can pull yourself up to sit, which gave me a big fright one morning to find you sitting up clapping excitedly – thankfully daddy lowered the cot that very night!

Although you can’t say many words, you do try to give me a run in the chattiness stakes! You can say daddy and mamma (although it is a rarity to say my name) you sometimes say hiya.

You smile, laugh and dance and clap your hands. You love to have a boogie to music and you love to make a noise!

My hopes for the next year

I hope you continue to enjoy, learn and develop at nursery.

I hope that we can see family and friends and they can see just how much you have grown and developed in these last few months.

I hope you find your feet and voice.

I hope you are happy and healthy.

You are just an absolute joy and you really light up our lives and we know we are so incredibly lucky to have you in our lives. You are so loved little girl.

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Other related posts

Here’s how I got on modelling maternity sportswear

I had a fantastic Maternity VIP Experience with JoJo Maman Bébé 

Here’s some tips to turn your spare room into a nursery

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