Things To Consider When Talking To A Person With Low Mental Health – Guest Post
For my first guest post of the year the lovely Charlotte who writes at https://charlotteunderwoodauthor.com/ has written about the things we should consider when talking to a person with low mental health.
Charlotte first shared a really really powerful piece about why mental health is just as important as physical health.
Things To Consider When Talking To A Person With Low Mental Health
Mental health is part of being human. We all have a responsibility to ourselves and to those around us to ensure that our mental well-being is maintained.
Not one person deserves to live with the adverse effects of living with mental ill health and the stigma that comes along with it.
A big part of looking after mental health in general, is looking at the language we use and the way that we approach the subject.
While words may not leave you a physical wound, they can leave a wound that may fester or bleed in your mind; it’s just as dangerous.
A lot of us mean well, and as much as we see a lot of stigma and ignorance surrounding mental health. There are also a lot of people out there who just want to help.
We probably all have said things in the past that we said to help but it had an adverse reaction, it doesn’t make you a bad person but it can show you just how complex and unpredictable mental health can be.
It’s never too late to learn from our past and to adapt for the future. We can do this by just being a tad more thoughtful before we talk to or about a person with low mental health.
While I cannot speak for the whole population, I can speak from experience, so this is what I believe would help a person more, when a conversation on mental health was bought up.
When you want to tell a person that “It’ll be fine”, remember that some people have a history in which things have not been fine and therefore they cannot trust that comment.
You can instead say “What can I do to help?”.
When you have nothing to say to a person other than “I’m sorry”, it can often sound dismissive to a person who is really struggling to get their words out.
Try to encourage conversation, avoid dead-end phrases and ask “Do you want to talk about it” or simply let them know you are there for them.
If you struggle to understand a person and you say “I don’t know what I can do to help”. It could be that the person just wanted to talk and now they may feel bad for doing so.
You could instead simply listen to them and ask “can you help me to understand?”.
When you are frustrated and you tell a person to “calm down” or “stop overreacting”. It can often lead to further feelings of rejection and can lead to isolation.
You could instead try “Would you like a drink, or a blanket” or “Do you know what triggered you?”.
When you talk over a person, or throw labels of mental illness at them, it can be so overwhelming.
In situations where a person is reaching out, let them talk and don’t assume their mental health.
Allow them space and just provide little conversation prompts such as “do you want to talk about it” or “I am here to listen, it’s ok”.
Taking time to understand the situation and what the person needs can make a huge difference in their confidence to seek help, and can raise their chances of finding recovery.
You don’t need to sacrifice anything that a listening ear and some time.
I think an easy way to think about this is to think about the times that you have felt patronised, judged or rejected and work with that.
Do the opposite and take the time to learn what works and what doesn’t work for people with low mental health, there are plenty of threads and discussions online!
The simple thing to remember is language matters, so take a moment to asses and really listen to the situation before offering an opinion.
About Charlotte
Charlotte is a 23-year-old from Norfolk. She is a growing mental health advocate and likes to use writing to inform and support.
On her blog you can keep up to date with her written work, both self published and through other means.
She posts a lot about mental health, depression, anxiety and suicide as she wants to raise awareness as well as end the stigma.
You can find out more about Charlotte here.
Great first guest post for the new year. I shall take on board this advice. And just listening and being there can be a huge help too x
I will too. 😊
Thank you Charlotte and Rachael – my husband suffers from depression and it has been a lot of trial and error for me knowing the right things to say at times. There has been blame and guilt on both sides, but we cope reasonably well most of the time and keeping communication open has been our major tool for tackling this x
Thank you for sharing that Em. It’s never easy but keeping communication open is a good start x
A really insightful post. We all know someone who suffers from some sort of mental health issue… Big or small. And knowing how to react to them and be with them, can really help, if you don’t have proper experience.
Hopefully this post will be of some help x
Definitely 🙂
Thanks for the helpful tips. “What can I do to help” is a great response.
Thoughtful post, Charlotte! Showing empathy and having a mindset that says you aren’t trying to fix, downplay or ignore can go along way in relationships with those who suffer from low mental health.
Yes to all of this! I’ve started seeing a counsellor and she is really helping me break down my own mental health barriers. The language you use on yourself as well as to sufferers is a huge part of it. I analyse situations before they happen and then over-analyse events when I get home. It’s a constant stream of noise and I only ever seem to remember the negative words – but I’m working on it! Lovely post x
Thanks Shelley.
This is such a great post! Thank you so much Charlotte and Rachael. I really like the suggestion of asking “What can I do to help?” and listening to understand what the person needs. That is so important as everyone’s situation is different so we don’t know how we can help until we ask. Thank you for sharing, such a helpful and thoughtful post! <3 xx
Bexa | http://www.hellobexa.com
Thank you Bexa 😊
Super advice here and so important.
Charlotte, you rock. Thanks for being an advocate.
So true, words might not hurt physically but can leave a scar still… we have got to be mindful of the language we use… A thoughtful read!
I agree thank you 🙂
It’s so difficult to try and gauge it correctly at times – both my husband and I suffer from it and there have been times where we’ve both said things that were either insensitive or unnecessary…
I think you’re right. Mental illness in varying forms runs in my family and I too have often put my foot right in it!
It’s diffciult not to, even when you are struggling yourself, as everyone is different